Be still

As I was driving home tonight, I was giving some more thought to something that was brought to my attention yesterday during that meeting I mentioned in yesterday's post. The person I was meeting with is one of my favorites. I truly value what he has to say, and because he's known me longer than almost anyone in my life, I tend to follow the advice he gives me.

So, during yesterday's meeting, I was telling this wise friend of mine about this new new life I've begun. I talked about my new job, and my overall new chapter of life that I've just started writing. At the end of it all, I told him a realization that I'm not really happy.

My life has drastically improved in the past 365 days. Last year at this time, I was a MESS. I was basically homeless, and having some sort of early midlife crisis. The worst part of that adventure is that I told absolutely NO ONE. The people at the preschool had no idea that my life was in a downward spiral. Now, a year later, I have a job I've always wanted, I have a coupleoftop notch friends, and I have a goal for my immediate future.

But I'm not happy.

I'm not really sure what my issue is. I can't pin point one definite thing that's making me feel so "down" about life. Am I just not letting myself be happy? Does that even make sense? I know this is something I do, because I have noticed that I will intentionally listen to sad songs or watch sad movies. Isn't that insane? Why would a sane person CHOOSE to engage in sad things? 

I think I'm sounding like I'm anything but sane. 

I say this all the time, but I think I'm a little bit broken. 

BUT

The point of this long, drawn out blog post is the advice I received during yesterday's chit chat adventure. My friend told me to just "be still". 

Quit looking ahead. Quit wondering what's next. Quit worrying about every little thing.

Just be still. Enjoy life as it is. 

Be still. Let God tell you what's next when HE is ready, not when YOU think the time is right.

This is going to be tough for me, but I'm up for anything. 

Let's give it a go.

Check back, sweet reader! I'll keep you posted!!