Dance.

I was watching Grey's Anatomy today (one of my favorite shows), and it was the episode where Callie and Arizona get married.

It's really hard for me to watch weddings any more, because in every single wedding there's a father/daughter dance.

I really hate the fact that I won't ever get to have that dance.

It makes me unbelievably sad.

Stressed

I feel like I have a lot of stresses in my life right now, and it's taking it's toll.

Work is rough. The number of kids in the daycare has dropped, so my hours have been cut a LOT. So, I've been job searching... but obviously there's not a lot out there... So I'm worried.

I feel this REALLY strong feeling that I'm supposed to write out my testimony. I talked about it at camp with one of my friends, and he said that I should work on it. Write it out. But I don't want to. Lol. I know that sounds weird... but I just don't want to. There are people in this group, in our college group, that have been around me for YEARS, and if I gave my testimony, they would be more than a little surprised at some of my stories. Ya know? I'm afraid of the judgement. And then, on top of all that, I don't understand why someone would care about my story. I don't understand how my story... my struggles, my accomplishments, my life... would make a difference to anyone. You know what I mean? I don't know. So, I was talking about this with Derek last night, and he pointed out that there's just so many little signs telling me that this is what I should do. Write it out.

UGH.

I don't know. Lol. The thought of telling people about my life story just freaks me out.

But the signs are there. So it's time to work.

I need help.

Hey there everyone.

So I have an issue. Most of you know that I work at Shadow Hills, in the daycare. Well, unfortunately, because of the lack of enrollment and a host of other reasons, they've cut my hours back A LOT.

So the job search begins.

Anyone know of anyone hiring?

I could really use some help. I'm out of ideas.

Beautiful.

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, feel so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness, the piece is gone
Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?

'Cause you are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(We're the song that's outta tune)
(Full of beautiful mistakes)

(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will always shine)
The sun will always, always shine!
(But tomorrow we might awake on the other side)

'Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today