Alone Part 2.

So, I have come to the realization that I can never live alone. I hate being in my house alone at night. Matthew just dropped me off, and I feel like a 6 year old. I'm lonely, and moderately scared. Lol. Yes, I realize this probably sounds totally crazy and stupid, but honestly... I don't care. I hate being home alone. Looks like I will be finding another place to stay while the folks are outta town.

Alone.

So my mom and her husband left today for Arizona. They go every year right after Christmas, to visit his family, so off they went. My mom almost didn't go. She thought I'd get depressed being in a house by myself so soon after my dad died... I told her to go, and that I'd be fine, but I now wish she had stayed. Literally, as soon as they left, I wanted to see her face. I got through little moments. Pastor Bob told me that it gets easier day to day, and that usually it'll just be little things that'll make me miss him.

I've had very few breakdowns, but I miss him every day. It's weird that I can't just call or text him, or just go over to his house. It's weird that I can't ask his advice on things. The worst part is when I think about my future without him there. He won't be at my wedding. He won't get to meet his grandkids. He won't get to see me turn into an actual adult. It makes me sad to think about.

Does it ever get easier?

I guess I'm not really expecting an answer to this question. Just sending it out into the void...

I love you.

Christmas 2010

Well, my first Christmas without my dad is officially over. It's Christmas day at... 9 (ish) pm, and my first dad-absent holiday is over. I made it through pretty well I think. Yesterday Matthew and I joined my mom and her family at Canyon Ridge for their Christmas service, and then went to my grandparents for dinner. Then I spent the night at the Headley's house, so I'd be there bright and early for Christmas morning. We woke up, at monkey bread (Yum!), and opened presents. Matthew and I got each other wonderful presents, and all was well. Then I watched some of Big Bang Theory (Season 3), and awaited the family gathering at 3:30. Apparently it was a small gathering this year (though it seemed like a lot of people to me), but it was full of wonderful people :) The little kids opened their presents (which was hilarious), and then the adults (including me!) play a white elephant-type gift exchange game, in which I won 2 collage picture frames (black) with the "Live, Laugh, Love" saying, and the "Faith Hope and Love" saying. I love them :)

Matthew (along with the rest of the Headleys) made this one of the best Christmases by far.

I had one minor meltdown (right before I left their house tonight, actually), about my dad. I usually go over to his house (and the out to Aunt Debbie's) for Christmas day, but this year was different. I'm not on that adapts to change well, so it was a real shock waking up in a house that wasn't mine, and not being with at least SOMEONE from my family on Christmas. Then Matthew reminded me, that I WAS with family. He and the Headley's ARE my family, because of the love that Matthew and I share. It was a nice reminder :) I do miss my daddy this Christmas, and I'm not 100 percent sure of what I'm going to do with his Christmas presents... but I know that he's happy, and pain-free up in Heaven, awaiting the day that I go to join him.

I love you.

Dad Update.

Well ladies and gentlemen, I am here to inform you of the news. My dad (Stephen Wayne Sphar) passed away on Friday December 17th at about 1:50 pm at St Rose Hospital.

I'm sort of a mix of emotions. I'm mildly depressed, only because things keep reminding me of him. I'm a little overwhelmed at the amount of things to do, and to arrange in the next week or two; not to mention entertaining all of the family that is in town now. And last but not least, I'm relieved. I nkow that probably sounds wierd or mean, but it's true. He was in So much pain for SO long, and he was SO tired ALL the time, he was just ready to go.

The timeline sort of went like this... Monday they took the tube out, he seemed to be breathing okay, so they left it out....Tuesday, he started having difficulty, and the hospital called us all to his bedside to make some decisions with him. When we got there, he told us that he didn't want to go through this anymore, and didn't want to be re-intubated. We signed the forming stating that... Wednesday, he started going downhill again. His heart rate was erratic (to say the least), and his breathing was funky. He was having trouble talking, but I had one last real conversatioin with him about decisions that were going to have to be made. I told him that if he was ready to stop fighting, and go be with Jesus, that would be okay with me. Everyone in my family agreed, and so my dad decided that he wanted to be taken off all medications (besides morphine) and just let God's will prevail. So, that's what we did. We filed the paperwork to make that happen... Wednesday was the last time I ever saw my dad. I had been thinking all week, that when the time came, I didn't want to see his final breaths. That was just never something I wanted to do. I didn't want to remember him like that, and I know for certain that he wouldn't want me to be traumatized like that.... So Thursday, I went to work. I worked all day, and then went to Grey's night with my girlfriends. We did our little white elephant thing, and that was pretty much it....Friday came, and we knew the end was drawing near. I called the hospital/my mom every hour or so to get updates. Over the course of the day, his numbers (heart rate, bloodpressure etc) were getting very bad. The at around 2, my mom called with the news. He went home to see Jesus.

An interesting bit of information that I left out of the above paragraph (on purpose) was this : My daddy loved Jesus. WHO KNEW! Pastor Damian chatted with his Tuesday night, for only a few minutes, and apparently since my dad was sick before (in august), he had found Jesus, and had been living as a Christ Follower ever since :)

That, ladies and gents, is why I feel relief. I know that one day, some day, I will see him again in his full glory.

I love you daddy.

Stephen Wayne Sphar
September 24th, 1952 - Birthday
December 17th, 2010 - Day he went Home.

Thanksgiving/Black Friday

Well, hello there again folks.

So yesterday, I attended my very first Headley Thanksgiving. Let me paint you a picture... 30 people or so, about 10 of which are kids... LOTS of food... Football games... It was amazing. There was SOOO many people though. Lol. And there was one particular child who is quite... loud for lack of a better word, and he was especially loud yesterday. Let me just tell you, I had a headache the size of Montana. Lol. But eventually he wwent home, and everything was fine.

 Unfortunately, I didn't get any sort of nap in, in the afternoon, so black friday was difficult. Yesterday was my first real black friday experience, and it was insane. We started off at Walmart, and it was a mad house!! There were thousands of people in that store, and people were fighting, and running around for toys and movies and things. It was nuts. I can say, though, that I had quite a good time. It was almost... exillerating. Lol. THEN we got into line to check out... we were 4th... and it took 45 minutes!! The first check out that we were at, the debit card machine wasn't letting you swipe... ok, we moved back a check-stand. THEN there was this couple... Their card was declined, and no joke, that's what took 25 of the minutes!! Lol. It was the longest process ever! They ended up having to have one of their moms come and pay for their ENORMOUS purchase... and it was crazy. Then, once we finally checked out, we went to sit in line at Kohl's. This was THE WORST part of the night. Unfortunately, Kohl's didn't open until 3, and it was only about 1 oclock, so we sat in line for 2 hours in below 30 degree weather!!! I was soooo cold, my bones were aching. I ended up having to wuss out, and go sit in the car for a while. I ended up making into Kohl's alive, and I got the CUTEST "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments for Greenlee and Lucas! It was a fun shopping find! I also got Christmas cards, and I'm excited to start filling them out right after I finish this blog :) :) :) :) :) Then we went to Target. We didn't have to wait very long, maybe 10 minutes. (Though, don't get me wrong, it was still freezing. My body had not quite recovered from the Kohl's coldness.) We went in, go what we need, and got out in under an hour. It was lovely. We made a few stop on the way home, and I was in bed before the sun came up.

All in all, a good first black friday.

I need addresses for christmas cards!! Text me, or message me on facebook if you'd like one :)

(Personally, I LOVE getting "snail mail") Lol.

Until next ime.

I love you.

So my cousin Christina...

posted this "note" on facebook, where she posted 30 random facts about herself, and then tagged people to the same. I don't post a lot of notes on facebook anymore, but I do post on here, so here it is :) I worked on these for like 3 weeks. Lol. I honestly couldn't think of 30 interesting facts about myself, but I tried. :)

1. I am secretly afraid of closed shower curtains. I have watched too many scary movies, and seen too many unsuspecting girls die because of closed shower curtains. Lol. This is a legitimate fear.

2. I love movies. I don't just love movies... I am basically obsessed with them. If I could get paid to watch movies, that would be my dream job :)

3. I love to read. I mostly read novels called "chic-lit". Books about women (usually written by women) for women. I also can't read more than one book at a time. The story lines start to run together.

4. I secretly wish I could tell people what I think of them. I have this fear of offending people, because I'm a people pleaser, and with some of the people in my life, if I told them what I truely thought, they may not like it.

5. I honestly believe that you have to be 100% happy being single before you find the one person you are meant to be with. I think it's ridiculous running around chasing guys just to feed your ego.

6. I love candles. On my bathroom counter right now is Pumpkin Spice from Bath and Body Works.

7. I'm really good at faking being happy. Enough said.

8. I am an OCD-level organization lover.

9. I love having my nails done. Painted or acrylic.

10. I have had 2 babies enter my life in the past month or so (not mine obviously), and I love them both.

11. I get overly annoyed when people are grammatically incorrect in their text messages.

12. I appreciate sleep more than most people. I would sleep all the time if I could.

13. My favorite TV shows are (in no particular order) The Golden Girls, The Facts of Life, and Grey's Anatomy.

14. When my dad was terribly sick over the months of August and September, I secrelty feared that I would never have a father/daughter dance, and it still makes me cry to think about it.

15. I love the holiday season. Not the holidays. Just the season.

16. I feel like an epic failure when people talk about their classes at school, because I'm not taking any.

17. I love to be scared. Even though in the moment, I'm usually practically crying.

18. I wish I'd had siblings closer in age growing up.

19. I love post-its.

20. I, once in a while, am a facebook stalker. Everyone has moments.

21. I prefer black pens to blue ones.

22. I love Shadow Hills, and all of the people there, but once in a while I miss Canyon Ridge beyond belief.

23. I can go through all 32 levels on Super Mario Brothers without dying, and without skipping any levels.

24. I want to name my kids using Bible names.

25. I want to work a basic reception/office job for a career because I like routine.

26. I want to live in like... Colorado or some place considerably more green than Vegas.

27. I rode Cat Buses last year when my car was busted.

28. I am conservative and proud of it.

29. I don't like cheesecake.

30. I am happy that I found the most amazing man in the entire world, and I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with him.

Weekend to remember.

This weekend has been crazy.

Thursday morning, I woke up super early and went with Liss Liss aka Melissa to get her braces put on, and then we grabbed lunch and went to her house. Vegging all afternoon and watching super girly movies make the day amazing.

I saw the movie "Unstoppable" over the weekend with my favorite girls, Mo, Matt C., and Willum. It stars Denzel Washington, which is one of favorite actors EVER! :) It was a really good movie. I definitely recommend it to everyone.

Today was fun. I definitely was NOT really excited to get up early to go to church, but I made it. Service was good. Pastor is an awesome speaker, and I love that I get something out of every single week's lesson. The worship today was really good... very soulful... and the 3 girls that sang on the end had some very nice harmonies. :)  Bible study was good, but of course, our room was freezing...

Tonight we had a surprise 21st birthday party for Chelsea Schoenbeck from church. She was totally surprised, and seemed to genuinely enjoy herself. Unfortunately, she wasn't feeling to well, but she still seemed to have fun.

Funny story... Lauren Poulin had to write an essay for english class, and she totally wrote about Tonya/Tammy. I think it's hilarious. Hopefully her teacher likes it as much as I did.

Well, that's about all I have to say.

Until next time loved ones.

I love you.

I had quite a day yesterday.

 So, here is a run-down of my day yesterday.

I woke up in a decent mood... watched a few minutes of a Grey's Anatomy re-run, and went to work. I called my papa on the way, and he told me that he took 40 step yesterday using a walker, which was of course good news.

Got to work, and started talking with my co-worker about what I'm going to do with my life... like career wise, and the reason I'm not in school is that I have NO IDEA what I want to do, and I didn't want to waste thousands of dollars until I figured it out. But unfortunately, because I feel like EVERYONE around me has already answered the "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question, when I talk about it, sometimes I feel like a total failure. Lol. And I know it's ridiculous, and I know there are lots of people not in school... but that doesn't change how I feel.

THEN

My kids at work yesterday were especially... difficult. I don't want to say that it was ALL the kids, but it was definitely the majority of the problems. There were kids who couldn't keep their hands to themselves. There were kids licking other kids... and there were kids with too much attitude. Lol. All of this is a daily occurance, but yesterday it seemed amplified, in part because I was already grumpy, and partially because Thursdays are the "almost Friday" day, and the kids are extra jittery... Bad Mood + Wild Kids = Worse mood. Lol.

THEN

I went to Grey's night with my favorite girls :) These girls that I see on Thursday nights are amazing :) We swap stories, talk about boys, and eat some YUMMY food. (Thank you Caitlyn and Mama Key)

THEN

I went over to the apartment that Matthew is now sharing with Darrin Capps and Gary Andrews, and we watched the discovery channel... lol. Yes, we're those people. And then Darrin came home, and we played Mario Kart, the original N64 version, and I hated it. I ahd already had a sucky day, and I literally lost EVERY round, so that actually made my mood worse. Lol.

Today I feel a little bit better, thanks to Matthew and a few good friends :)

But I just needed to vent about my day. :)
Thanks for listening.

Life has been interesting to say the least.

The last time I posted was in October...

Here's what's happened since then...

My papa has taken over 20 steps with a walker. :) They are SLOWLY building up his muscle mass, because it all wasted away during his hospital stay. They moved him to a new facility across town, so I haven't been able to visit as often as before, but I call him at least twice a day, and we discuss the days' events. :) It's nice being able to talk to him finally. He was literally a lump for sooo long, and now it's almost.... wierd hearing his voice... But I love it :)

In other news, I FINALLY got to go visit my sweet little baby Lucas. :) In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, Lucas James Salzman was born in October to Karin and Jeremiah Salzman, and he is perfect :) I'm going to be his full time nanny when his mommy goes back to work, and I am SOOO excited. He is soo sweet, and his little smile is amazing. :) Karin and Jeremiah are super lucky to ahve that little angel :)

Grey's Anatomy night at the Key house has become a weekly staple in my life. :) Getting together and chatting with those girls is awesome :) We catch up on the week's events... it's fun :) Lol. Those girls are amazing.

We just had an election a few days ago. UNFORTUNATELY Harry Reid got voted back into office for our senate seat, and I don't understand why. He's done nothing but ruin the nevadan way of life these past 6 years, and for some idiotic reason, people went and asked for more unemployment, no new jobs, and basically another sucky 6 years... Way to go Reid-voters. You basically just screwed Nevada over for another 6 years. For the record... I voted for Sharon Angle. She may not have been the best choice for the job... but she was BY FAR the BETTER CHOICE.

And last, but definitely not least, I'm still madly in love with Matthew. I realize this isn't really an "update", because everybody and their grandmothers know about this... BUT, I thought it should be restated. He's amazing. :) He's recently moved out, and has since started living with Darrin Capps and Gary Andrews from our church. These guys are amazing, and Matt is doing very well :) I love him more than I can put into words, and I am SOOO proud of him.

Well, that's about all for now folks. I love you.

So two momentous things happened.

First off, yesterday was Matthew's and my 7 month-aversary. He is by far the best thing that's ever happened to me (besides Jesus), and yesterday, we celebrated by going to Red Robin for dinner, and chatting :) It was nice going on a date, and just spending time together. :) He's amazing. I am one lucky girl :)

And the SECOND good thing that happened yesterday, was this.... Matthew and I were sitting at Red Robin eating dinner, and I had a missed call on my phone. it was my dad's cell phone. Since he went into the hospital, his phone's been in a drawer turned off. Lol. So, imagine my surprise... I called it back, dreading the worst, because I am a pessimist at heart... and he answered :) You're probably thinking... what's the big deal? Well, he hasn't spoken in over 2 months!!!! That's the big deal. I was sooo excited. I've called him probably 10 times since then, just to hear him talk. Lol. He's probably going to get annoyed, but he'll get over it. :) This is the first time I TRUELY BELIEVED that he's on the road to a full recovery. It just enver seemed real before. Now, now it does. :)

Thanks for reading guys.

I love you.

One of those days...

Do you ever wake up in a funk? You wake up, and it's not that you feel sick or anything like that, you just don't feel... right. Today's been one of those days. I wasn't in a bad mood, just sort of... BLAH.

Went to church this morning. I went to service last night, so I got to sleep in until 8:30 :) It was actually a nice start to the day... Judith's message was good. We're in the book of Ephesians right now, which is one of my faves :)

We then went to Crete for college lunch. They have the yummiest burgers and sweet potato fries around.

Then a group of us went to party city to look at all of the fun Halloween things. I love Halloween. it's definitely one of my favorite holidays.

This afternoon, I've done like, nothing. Lol. My friend Kitty sent me a couple of seasons of a show called "Criminal Minds", so I watched some episodes of that, and now I'm watching the seasons 6 finale of Grey's Anatomy online. It's instense. If you're a Grey's fan, you'll know what I mean. Lol.

Until later.

It's been 10 days since I've posted.

Not a lot has happened in my life

EXCEPT

that I've lost 27 lbs so far. :)

Aren't you proud? :) My clothes are fitting better already (which is something I didn't expect so soon). I feel less... lazy. Lol.

My papa's still in the rehab center. He's sitting up on his own again now, and breathing on his own for the most part... Very little of his time is on the ventilator.

That's really all for now. I'll update again :)

I love you.

Thank you for the encouragement.

Day ???

I truely appreciate everyone who's helped me with this weight loss adventure. :) It's not over. There's actually a long way to go, but I just wanted you to know that :)

Yesterday was a LONG day. There's a girl that I work with that tries and tests my very last nerve every single day, and it's exhausting. She's rude to our kids, and their parents. She's rude to our co-workers. And really, she's just a trouble-maker. It takes every ounce of patience I have, every day, not to lose my mind. I've tried talking to her. I've tried tactfully pointing out when she's rude. She goes to church, so I even tried to give her some bible verses that I thought may trigger a change of heart... So far... Nothing's changed. Help??

I love you all.

16 lbs in 2 weeks.

This has been an exciting and busy week. :) My papa is in the rehab place now, and he's perking up. It's funny, because the nurses must've shaved him Saturday morning, because I came in Saturday afternoon and my dad's face was clean shaven... You're probably asking yourself, why is that funny? Well, I've never, in my 21 years, seen my dad without his big grey beard. Lol. I almost thought I was in the wrong room. Lol.

So, about the title of this blog... I've lost 16 lbs. in 2 weeks. My mom got me a scale for my bathroom, so it's easier to keep track of :) It's been a hard, yet exciting adventure. It's been rough eating smaller portions, and better, healthier foods, because I've eaten the same stuff for years... but it's been exciting, because I can actually FEEL and SEE a difference... A couple of people have told me that they can see a difference, and whenever someone tells me that, I can feel myself light up :) Lol. I'll keep you guys posted. :)

That's about it for right now. :)

I love you.

I am a sucky blogger. Lol.

I'm FINALLY posting. Lol. It's been a BUSY couple of days.

First off, let me say that I weighed myself yesterday, and due to hard work and portion control, I've lost 9 lbs in 6 days. :) It's exciting news right? :)

Secondly. I started going to the gym with Matthew, and I am CONSTANTLY sore. Oh my gosh. My muscles HATE me. Lol. But they'll get over it. :)

Thirdly. My dad was FINALLY moved to the rehab center, and for those of you that don't know what that means, it means that he's getting better. The doctors in the ICU at Summerlin Hospital told me that there was really nothing more they could do for him there. They said that he just needed time with certain medications, and he'd get better. (We're talking a year, here). So, they sent him Thursday night to the rehab hospital :) He dosen't really like it there. He'd obviously rather be at home, but he'll get there some day :) Keep up the prayers guys. They are TRUELY appreciated. :)

That's about all to post right now. Life has been super busy, but is super amazing.

Thank you Jesus.

And thank you friends :)

Continued...

I had a good day today. I posted this morning about my morning activities.

I went to lunch with one of my oldest friends today. We caught up on life, talked about the men in our lives, and just plain chatted.

Then I went to work. The kids were actually pretty good today! It was DEFINITELY a better day than usual.

THEN I came over to my favorite guy's house (aka Matthew), and we had dinner (grilled chicken and some rice) and watched Happy Gilmore. Now we're online checking out gym memberships and reading through the South Beach Diet Book, planning. I think The South Beach plan is something I could actually do, so I'm excited :)

Tomorrow, I am SOOOOO excited, because the season premiers of my 2 favorite shows is on. Grey's Anatomy and The Big Bang Theory. There's a FABULOUS group of girls meeting tomorrow night to kick off the season, and it's going to be a good night :)

Have I mentioned on here that I have a WONDERFUL boyfriend? His name is Matthew William Headley, and he's pretty much amazing.

:)

Post again tomorrow.

I love you.

Day 8.

Today has started off well. I scarfed down a banana like 2 minutes after I woke up. It was TOUGH eating it, let me tell you. My body just hates eating this early. Lol.

Matthew and I went for a walk this morning :) It was nice and cool outside. There were people with their dogs ALL over the place. It was fun :) We're going back to walk tonight after I get off of work. :)

That's about all I have to report. :) I'll post later on today.

I love you.

Day 7.

Nothing too new to report today. Matthew and I went for a walk and played a little frisbee. :) It was a LOT of exercise, but it was more than I probably would've normally gotten. :)

Then Matthew and I went to see the movie "Vampires Suck".... and let me just tell you... It was TERRIBLE. Lol. That was the biggest waste of 10 dollars I've ever seen. Lol.
My "check engine soon" light went on yesterday for some unknown reason... so today I'm going to Autozone to see why... hopefully it's nothing TOO expensive. Lol.

I'll post more later on... off to Autozone :)

I still need recipes... Can anyone help?

Day 6.

Hello all. Sorry I haven't posted in a couple days, life has been BUSY.

On Saturday afternoon/evening, I went to church. Matthew is working at the church now running round for the services, so we were there pretty early. He worked, and I did my quiet time. Service was good. Then at around 6:30, the college group got together behind the Rec Center, and we played Ultimate Frisbee :) I didn't play a WHOLE lot, but I did play some, and it was fun :) THEN at like 8:00, Erica and I left on our adventure. Erica had won tickets to see Don Henley, who is the lead singer of The Eagles, on the radio. The concert was great, though we both agreed that the number of middle aged "air guitarists" and the number of drunk women scantily clad could've been less. Lol. But it made for some interesting people watching :)

Then yesterday was one of the best days of my life. Matthew and I celebrated 6 months together yesterday :)
We went to church in the morning, and then to Panera Bread Company for College Lunch. The Mac and Cheese there is absolutely AMAZING. Lol. Then we went back to Matt's house, and watched Sherlock Holmes... well, I watched parts of it. Lol. I was cat-napping. :) Then we went to dinner at Red Robin, which was delicious of course. We don't go there often, so it was a nice treat :) Then at like... 1130, we went up to the top of Cheyenne and went star-gazing :) It was the perfect 6 month-aversary :) I love you Matthew William Headley.

Not a lot else is going on... With the exception of a little splurging the past 2 days, I have DEFINITELY been eating better and moving more. Lol. :) I appreciate the support everyone's been giving. :) A particular "shout out" goes to Tony Angelo... lol. He's been keeping me accountable like you wouldn't believe :) :)

Today's a busy day. My to-do list is a MILE LONG.
Here it is:

I have to buy coolant, because my "LOW COOLANT" light is on.
I have to update blog (check!!)
I have to go preview the rehab place for my papa.
I have to re-watch the last season of Grey's Anatomy (though this one definitely isn't vital, but the new season starts on Thursday) :)
I need to call the ICU and get an update, because I'm not going up to the hospital today.
I need to search through Google for more group games for my afterschoolers.
I need to buy wrapping paper, and then wrap my gift for Karin's baby shower on Saturday.
I need to go to Albertsons and get a few grocery items.

And I'm sure the list will keep growing. :) Lol. Life.

I'll update again later on.

I love you all.

Day 3 Continued.

Hello all.

Updates.

My papa is still in the ICU at Summerlin Hospital. They can't get his heart rate to be stable enough for transport to the rehab hospital. He was pretty depressed today when I left the hospital. It made me sad. I'm not much of a crier, but I couldn't help it.

I didn't exercise a whole lot today. My legs were SUPER sore from yesterday :( Shows how out of shape I really am. Lol. I'm working on it though. Matthew and I DID spend about an hour walking around Walmart grocery shopping, and another 20 minutes or so just standing in line (it was SO busy)... So maybe that counts for something? Lol.

All I've had to eat today was a oatmeal raisin granola bar. I just don't have a whole lot an appetite. Salad for dinner?

Did I mention that I love my boyfriend? His name is Matthew, for those of you that haven't met him, and he's amazing. He loves me unconditionally. He's more than I could have ever hoped for or imagined. :) He's standing right behind me :) Lol.

There's not a whole lot else to report for today. Thank you all again for the continued encouragement. I love you.

I need recipes!

Day 3.

My apologies for not posting last night. By the time I got home, I was EXHAUSTED lol.

I did my work out DVD again yesterday morning, and then I worked a 6 hour shift with my kids. THEN Matthew and I went for a wolk around the track at the park a couple of times. It was fun :) A little creepy, because it was getting dark by the time we got there, but he was there to protect me :) So, I definitely got some exercise in yesterday :) It was neat, but it definitely wore me out. Lol.

Kat, we are DEFINITELY on for Tuesday... I don't know why I didn't get your texts or whatever : /

In other news, I called the ICU desk to check in on my dad last night, because I hadn't been to the hospital. Susan, his nurse yesterday, told me they are weining him off of the ventilator. On Wednesday, he breathed on his own for 3 hours, and yesterday (Thursday), he breathed for 5 hours :) She also told me that today (Friday), someone is going to come and evaluate him and see if we can move him to a rehab facility!!! That means he's getting significantly better :) The fungal infection, they said would take a year or more to fully heal, but he can finish that at home... which is the next step after rehab :) It looks like there MAY BE some light at the end of this tunnel.

I love you all.

I'll post later on today/tonight.

Day 2.

Good morning loved ones! :)

Nothing too new or exciting to report. We are officially out of orange juice, so it's water for breakfast. I tried to eat a piece of toast, but my belly just was not ready for it... I'm going to have to work on this breakfast thing... Any ideas?

Matt had a leadership meeting last night, so I went and hung out at my friend Melissa's house. We watched a movie called "Letters to Juliet". It is a SUPER cute movie. If you haven't seen it, check it out. It's totally girly. :)

I have a work-out date with Ms. Kat Hall tonight after work. I'm excited and nervous. Lol. It's been like... a year or more since I've actually WORKED OUT worked out... So it should be interesting. I hope she doesn't mind complaining. :) Ha!

I am truely appreciating the encouragement and the love you all are showing me through this process (Even if it's only day 2.) Lol. Keep it coming, because it's definitely helping. Lol.

I love you all. :) I'll post again later on.

Day 1 Continued.

Today was a good day.

I'm updating tonight from Matthew's computer. He made a good point tonight in saying that if I update just in the morning, sometimes I'll leave out details about my day. So, it'll be a twice-a-day thing for the foreseeable future.

I didn't end up eating breakfast. I had my orange juice, but that's about as far as I got. Lol. I'll try eating toast tomorrow. I'm just not an early morning eater, even though I know that it's better for you...

So I didn't go to the hospital today. It's starting to take a toll on me I think... Sitting there 6 hours a day, every day... it's just too much mentally. So, I decided to take a day off. I updated my blog, watched 10 minutes of Saved By The Bell, cleaned out my purse, watched Meet Me In St. Louis, and went to work.

Work wasn't all that fabulous today. There's a girl I work with that absolutely gets on my last nerve every time I see her. She's talking about quitting soon, and I secretly think in my mind that I wouldn't miss her. It sounds mean, but there's a long story behind it. Lol.

I did a work out video today. No, no, no. I wasn't "Sweatin' to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons (though I do own those VHS tapes). Like I said in a past post, my mom did the nutrisystem program, and along with that program, they sent a DVD geared towards workouts for women. I didn't finish the DVD. It's quite long (like 2 hours altogether), but I did as much as I felt my legs could take. Tomorrow I'm planning on doing it again... for a slightly longer period of time. Work my way through it...

I don't have much else to report. Nothing too majorly exciting happened today. I'll update in the morning. :)

Breakfast: Orange Juice.
Lunch: Chicken Breast and a few taco chips with home made salsa.
Dinner: Chicken with some weird, but yummy sauce on it.

Seems like I'm going to be living on chicken.

Recipes?

Day 1.

So, today's the day... The sun is shining and the tank is clean :) (Nemo!!!)

I woke up this morning, completely motivated. I was worried last night that I would wake up today and be like, "Well, maybe I'll start next week" or some other excuse. I'm glad, though, that I didn't :)

Last night was my last supper-type dinner. The college/careers group went out after bible study to In N Out Burger. I had a burger, fries and a pink lemonade, and that will be the last fast food I'm going to ahve for quite a while. :) I'm excited that this new adventure is starting well. I have a work-out-date with Kat tomorrow night, and Matthew and I are going to walk around the park tonight. It doesn't sound like much, but since I don't normally work out, it's something. Lol.

Breakfast : Some orange juice.

I've already encountered my first issue. I hate breakfast. I never eat it. Never. My friend who is a nutrition major told me that people who DONT eat breakfast actually gain 5 lbs. a year, because their metabolism doesn't get jump started. I guess I'll have to get over my hatred of breakfast. :) Lol.

Last night after LOGOS, my darling man-friend and I were chatting on his couch, and apparently I made some strange face, and he told me it was cute :) It's not some world-changing fact, but I wanted to share anyway :) Lol. I love Matthew more than anything in the world (except for Jesus). He's so good to me, sometimes I doubt i even deserve him. :)

I'll post again soon! Thanks for the accountability my loved ones!

So I watched a movie today...

called Julie & Julia. It's about a woman (played by one of my favorite actresses, Amy Adams) who writes a blog about her life, and more specifically about cooking through the Julia Child cook book. Well, I've decided to do something similar.

I was having a chat with Matthew today, and somehow we got onto the topic of looks. He says that every time he gives me a compliment, I put myself down, and I didn't really realize until today that is, in fact, true. I've been thinking this over all morning, and discussing it further with him (since he is my man-friend)  and I've decided to start a journey.

Let's start at the beginning.

When I was a little kid, my family was that 1950's family you see on TV, where, more often than not, we ate dinner together at the table. I realize now that I took that for granted. In 2000, my parents sat my brother and I down at that very same table, and told us that they were getting a divorce. That was the beginning of it all, in my opinion. My parents got divorced, which is, of course, the short and sweet version. Lol. My mom and I moved out of my childhood home and into an apartment near my middle school, and began our "single girl life" together. We ate junkie things. Pasta ALL the time. Lol. It seems crazy now, looking back, but neither of us was in our right mind then. Then we moved into the house we're in now. My mom got married, and I went to live with my dad. I probably should've mentioned earlier that I am a daddy's girl in the worst sense of the world. He was my life, my support, and my enabler for years. We ate junk food, stayed up late, and unfortunately this was during my high school years when I REALLY needed good nutrition and good "life habits", as I call them.

Now, let me pause here. I am NOT NOT NOT NOT blaming my parents for my crappy eating habits. Definitely not. I'm just letting you, the reader, know my story. :)

So, I moved back in with my mom last October (2009). She'd been doing the Nutrisystem Program for about 4 months, and was losing weight faster than you'd believe. She looked amazing. Did that spark some interest to get healthier? Heck no! Lol. I hung out with the same people, ate the same fast food/restaurant food as I did before.

Then I met Matthew William Headley. He is, and always will be, the love of my life. He challenges me in ways that are great.... and sometimes frustrating. Lol. He makes me smile even when I'm crying my eyes out. He's been with me through the hard things, and there through the smiles and laughter.

So, we're back to this morning. Matthew and I were talking, and we've decided to change our ways. (Though I personally think he looks amazing. Lol.) It's simple right? Eat less, move more. It's good in theory. Matt says I have more willpower than I give myself credit for. We shall see :) I'm excited to start this journey.

Feel free to help keep me accountable. I appreciate and love everyone in my life. :) Thank you for reading. Check back tomorrow for a new post :)