Bob Goff

This morning I went to my old church for a visit.

I was raised at Canyon Ridge, and loved almost every minute of it. This weekend, there was a man named Bob Goff who was there as a special speaker, and my mom decided that it would be beneficial if I came and hear what he had to say.


I must admit, I didn't really want to go. I have my reasons for leaving that church, and going back always makes me feel...uneasy. BUT, I went.

And he was amazing.

He was full of insight and stories. He talked all about "Charlie", the little boy who he saved and then adopted from Uganda. It was an unbelievable story, and ended with this same little boy getting to meet the President of the United States, because "Charlie's" story had reached the White House.

All of this being said, the point of Bob's speech wasn't about going to Uganda and adopting a little boy. It wasn't really about climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. And it wasn't really about his wife.

Bob's whole life mantra is "Love does".

Isn't that the truth? We are called to love God and love others. We say we love everyone around us, but do we really? Do we stop our lives, and love on others? Do random acts of kindness? Extend a cup of cold water as it were?

I know that I, more often than not, that I don't.

Just something to think about.

Vegas

You know... when I was a little kid, I always told people that I'd never leave Vegas. That I would get married, have kids, and live in Las Vegas for my entire life. I LOVED it here. I know where everything is. A large chunk of my family lives here. My childhood was here. I have a pretty deep "hometown pride" thing going... That being said, we went on lots of roadtrips when I was a kid as well. Pismo Beach, Colorado, Seattle... Lots of fun places, that exposed me to different people and ways of life. That's when I opened my mind to maybe living somehwere else some day.

You, my dear reader, know that I semi-recently went on a vacation to the great state of Georgia to visit a good friend of mine, and my world changed. It's funny... the people who live there, some of whom I'm now friends with, have no idea how enchanting their state is. I can't explain how I felt there without sounding like a complete psychopath except to say that... I felt at home.

So, sweet reader, does this mean I'm moving to Georgia tomorrow? No. Obviously not. But would I rather be there than here right now? 

Yes.

Obamacare

Okay. I'm not overly find of turning this blog into a political soapbox, but this is important. 

Obamacare is stupid. I don't think that providing free healthcare for people who choose not to work is the right thing to do. I don't agree on how it's set up or how it's playing out. I don't think it's fair or right that hard working American people are having to pay for people who "can't afford" healthcare. Well, I have news for you Mr. President! With the hike in insurance premiums, co-pays and everything else, NO ONE can afford health insurance. 

I have a friend who has a family... A wife, a baby and a mortgage. With what he's going to have to pay with obamacare, they won't be able to to have any kind of life. It is costing them more in insurance than it is for the mortgage on their house and that is disgusting. 

Explain to me the logic someone. Please. 

It is no secret that I didn't vote for our nations leader last election. I actually tried to sway people the conservative way, but other politics aside... Obamacare isn't going to work. It's going to bankrupt millions of people and, in my opinion, could be the beginning of the downfall. We are already in a recession. Why in this world, Mr. President, do you need to make it worse?

Just my opinion. 

Georgia - The Finale

I've been thinking abd deciding for WEEKS about how to end the "Georgia series" I've had going on my blog the past month. I've typed and erased a dozen times, and still can't fully put into words how much I loved my experiences down there. I can't fully put into words how much I feel in love with the beautiful nature God created down there. I can't fully explain how much I miss the hilarious people I met there. And I can't express how much I love Georgia football.

To my newest friends... my Georgia friends... who I know will read this... in those short three days, you made me realize that there's a world outside of Vegas. You made me see that there are good, sweet people still left in the world. And you made me realize that Georgia football is the best thing I've ever seen. I had so many adventures with you all...from the shaved ice truck ya'll had outside of Matt's to going down to the River Walk and seeing the Savannah River  to drinking Rumplemints and that $6 bottle of cherry flavored whatever it was...to going to The Mo and watching movies under a sky filled with more stars than I've ever seen... To sitting inside of Zaxby's talking about how you all even dress differently than the people in my city. Oh! And don't forget the new words and phrases I learned while I was there!! Haha! It was an amazing trip, and I'll never forget it.

But don't worry, I'll be back ;)

Plans have been made. I need to continue my southern education.

Go dawgs :)

Georgia Part 3

Let's talk about pride.

I am a native Nevadan. I know everything there is to know about this wonderful state of mine, right down to the state song. ("Home Means Nevada" for those who've forgotten) I am proud that I paid attention enough during elementary school to remember the random Nevada facts that I know today, BUT even I don't have anything on the people I met in the state of Georgia.

On Saturday night, we watched the Georgia/Clemson college football game, and it was an experience unlike any other! I am typing this post, and still laughing out loud! Every play, every mistake, every touchdown was treated like the biggest moment of the game. I have never heard such hootin' and hollerin' about anything here in Nevada. (Not Ne-vah-duh by the way Georgia peeps!) But seriously, the people I watched that game with were amazing. They knew every player. They were rattling off stats about past seasons like it was nothing, and I just sat there in awe. Honestly, I spent a good chunk of the time laughing, because I had never seen such passion being put into a sporting even, but as the night wore on, I was more and more impressed. You could feel the love for the bulldogs in the room!

The next day, I was taken around town and down to the River Walk by two native Georgians, and was filled in on some Georgia history. War history, the who's who of everyone who's from there, and even the history of the major floods! Ha! It was awesome! How many people in Nevada really know anything like that about Nevada?? I do, but I think I'm the odd gal out in that! Can you, dear reader, tell me when Nevada became a state without googling it? Probably not. (October 31st, 1864 in case you'd like to know!)

The entire weekend was amazing, and I wouldn't have changed anything about it. But what impressed me the most was the sincerity of the love the people who live there have for the state they live in and the team they root for!

Keep checking back! Part 4 should go up tomorrow or Tuesday!

Go dawgs!

Georgia Part 2!!

The people in Georgia are extremely different than the people in Nevada. 

When I got to the Augusta airport, the baggage handler and the enterprise guy and the crossing guard were all sincerely sweet. 

I don't use that much. That word... Sincerely. I feel like people, in general, are not overly sincere. But the people I encountered this weekend were just... different. 

My friend that I went to see is one of the funniest people I know. He's an outgoing and borderline cocky person, but he is a GOOD friend. I know that I can tell him anything and he will not judge me. He may not tell me what I want to hear some times, but he's there when I need him.

This weekend I got the chance to meet his closest group of friends, and though I only got to spend maybe ten hours with them, I KNOW that they are the same type of person as my friend. I KNOW that they are funny. I KNOW that they are good people and I KNOW that if someone needed them that they would step up. 

Where I live, I don't come across people like this very often at all. I'm not trying to knock Nevada. I'm from here. I'd never do that. BUT. I can honestly say that I only have a couple of people in my life that aren't overly judgmental. I only have  a couple of people in my life that I feel like I can say anything to. And there are only a couple of people that I KNOW will step up of something major should happen. 

 

Just another reason I fell in love with Georgia. 

Georgia Part 1

I can't seem to put into words my feelings about my trip this weekend. I've tried to type the blog out 3 or 4 times now, and I can't seem to do it. I don't seem to be able to articulate what I saw on my adventures in Georgia or the way I felt about everything...

But I'm going to try.

When I first stepped off the plane in Augusta, I was tired. I had worked the entire day before, and took a red-eye that night to be Augusta in time for the Bulldogs' game. I walked down the walkway from the plane and came to a window. The other 50 or so people from my plane just hurried on by, off to whatever adventure they had planned for the long weekend. But I just stood there. I looked out this window for probably 10 solid minutes in just...awe. There was the runway, of course, but beyond the runway were trees. Thick, beautifully green trees that stretched as far as I could see. I've seen trees before, but not trees like this. They towered over everything, and looked as though they had weathered the test of time, and had won the battle. They were just... magnificent.

As I drove my rental car to my hotel, I took all of these backroads (thanks iPhone maps for the adventure), and just couldn't believe my eyes. Everything was just amazing. The people waved as they drove. The scenery was an obvious statement of God's awesome glory. And the accents of the DJ on the car radio made me smile.

I did a lot of things over the coarse of three days. I enjoyed my first college football game with people who actually cared. (I'll have a separate blog about that adventure haha) I got a tour and history lesson from two native Georgians all about Augusta and the neat things it had to offer. I looked through countless photo albums at hundreds of pictures, and enjoyed stories of one of my best friends. I tried Zaxby's, which beats Raising Canes, hands down. I went to a drive in, and saw more stars than I've ever seen in my entire life. And I flew home. 

I came back to Las Vegas on Monday afternoon, and again, I can't describe the way I felt. Depression? Sadness? I don't know how to say how I felt without sounding melodramatic. I know that when people come back from a vacation they enjoy, they're usually in a vacation funk. I get it. But that's not how I feel. I stepped off the plane at the D-Gates at McCarran, walked through the baggage claim, and froze. I literally stopped in the middle of the walkway and just froze. Usually when I come home from trips, or when I pick up someone from the airport, I revel in the sounds of slot machines. It's the first sounds of me being HOME. Well, this time, I walked next to my beloved slot machines, and just...stopped. I wasn't happy to hear the familiar dinging. I wasn't excited about getting back into my life. 

I don't want to make this a SUPER long blog post. I know you, sweet reader, have other things to go and do, BUT check back. I have lots more to say about Georgia. I've decided to make this a mini-series of 5 or 6 posts. 

But for now, just know... I left my heart in Georgia.

Homelessness

Today I moved.

The man who owned our house, needed to move back in due to unforeseen circumstances, so today was my last day there. I don't really know how to feel. I hired movers, and packed up everything. They loaded up, and we moved everything I own, except for a few random bags of clothes and my iPad, into a 5 X 10 storage unit indefinitely. 

I am going to be staying at a friend/coworker's house while she's out of town, so I have somewhere to sleep, but I can't get over this unwavering feeling of homelessness. I am currently a transient person.

I hate this feeling.

It sucks.

Who am I?

The other night at our bible study in the park, we were prompted to read over a passage (Exodus 3) and then we were supposed to ask ourselves "Who Am I?" 

Who am I...

 I sat there in the wet grass at Pueblo Park with fifty or so other people contemplating this question. Who Am I?

 To my God, who am I? To the people I was sitting in that park with, who am I? What do I fill my time and thoughts with? What am I known for? 

Am I known as someone who speaks Christ's love and mercy everyday? No. Am I known as someone who is constantly trying to populate Heaven? No.

 If I had to guess, I think I'm known for simpler things. I work with kids in the preschool, and I'd say that I'm good at my job. I attend and serve in the collegiate ministry at my church. I lead worship there aka I sing. And if I'm HONESTLY looking at my life... 

 That's probably all I'm known for. 

 I'm the girl that's good with kids, goes to church and sings. 

What kind of legacy am I leaving? Will the people around me remember me when I'm going? Will the world? What sort of impact have I made? 

 In Exodus 3, Moses encounters the burning bush, and he finds out that he (along with God) will lead the Israelites out of Israel.

 Can we talk about pressure? 

 I get throw-up nervous when I'm asked to say a 2 minute segment on a Tuesday night. I can't even IMAGINE how I'd feel knowing that I had to lead people out and away from the only life they've ever known. Can we, once again, talk about pressure? Moses was appointed this task when he was basically a nobody.

 I've never really thought that I was destined to do anything special. But who knows. Maybe I am. 

 But now I sit here, typing this post, and think of Andrew. Andrew was a boy in our church who passed away a few weeks ago from a fall out at Red Rock. There was a massive wave of sadness in the following days, but there was also a lot of smiles. I went to Andrew's memorial service, even though I'd only met him a time or two, and the night was amazing. He had been so outspoken and touched SO many lives in such a positive way... It was just extraordinary. 

 Maybe everyone is destined to make an impact, whether it be on a large scale or just a small moment... 

Maybe my time of impact hasn't happened. Maybe it has. Maybe it's ongoing. 

 But the question still remains... 

 Who am I?

Father's Day

When my dad died two a half years ago, there were two kinds of people that I had in my life. There were those that said I needed to be strong, suck it up and keep on trucking through life. They said that I'd see my dad again one day, so why waste selfish tears on something you can't change. And then, there were those who ask why I never cried. The polar opposites of the previous people. And even now, looking back on it, I didn't really cry. I  was so busy planning the memorial and taking care of my family that I just didn't have time to be sad. Then when my family all travelled back home, I had to worry about getting a new job, so I through myself into that, and that took all of my attention. 

And ever since then, I focus on 4 things. My relationship with Jesus. My family. My work. And my group of friends and all that in entails. I haven't had time... or better put... I haven't ALLOWED myself time to grieve. Is that wrong? I realize it's probably "unhealthy". If you're an avid reader, you know that my mom sent me to grief counseling at one point later year, and that was a complete bust. If I'm being honest, it's because I didn't ALLOW myself to get into it. I'd watch the videos, and listen to what my therapist person said, but I didn't actually care enough to take it to heart.

Now, here I am. Two and a half years later, and I am where I started... in ignorant bliss. I know my dad is gone, though there are still days where I get good news and reach for my phone to call him. But overall, I understand he is, at this point, unreachable. But beyond that, I haven't dealt with anything. I haven't dealt with the loss. I haven't dealt with the memories. I haven't dealt with the anger. I haven't dealt with anything, but I ESPECIALLY haven't dealt with the healing. I feel like it's just eons away, and because it's so unattainable, I just don't even want to bother trying.

So, all of this being said, I am sad this week. 

Father's Day is fast approaching. We are making "Father's Day Art" in our classrooms at the preschool and every time I see a project drying in the hallway, it just breaks my heart all over again. People the past two years, around Father's Day, say something like "You have a wonderful Heavenly Father, focus on that!" or "God should be enough of a Father for you!", and while those two statements are all well and good, they're just not enough. 

On the days when I can barely get out of bed. On the days where I can barely get through work. On the days when I can barely BREATHE... On those days, that's just not enough. And this week, when everyone is planning special days and making cards or buying gifts for the fathers in their lives, I get more sad by the minute.

There comes a time

There comes a time in everyone's life when it's time to grow up. 

Remember when you were a little kid, and people would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? What did you say? I used to say I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to be a teacher who moonlighted as a ballerina. Those were my goals in life.

** Side note, when I was REALLY little, like FOUR, I wanted to "grow up" to be one of the kids on Barney. Yea, I wanted to be that kid.**

Now, my goals have changed. Now, dear reader, I want something else. I want something...ordinary. Does that sound weird? I want an ordinary life. I guess that does sound strange. But I have had SO many things happen in my life (good and bad) that I think it's about dang time for life to settle down. I want the 1950's looking life. I want to get married, maybe have kids. I want to bake treats and be involved at church. And I want... simplicity. I suppose that's another way to say "ordinary" in the way that I mean it. 

Is it wrong? Is there something wrong with the fact that I don't want to be famous, or accomplish these AMAZING things. Is it wrong for me to just want simplicity?

That's what I'm thinking about today.

Until next time, sweet reader.

Weathering the storms.

Well, dear reader, we meet again. My life is in an interesting place. I was talking to someone the other day, who said "It's easier to trust in God's plan when the goings are good. It's just hard to stay focused on positive things when everything seems to be falling down around you." Well, I'll tell you, sweet reader, the same thing I told this person. If any one of you are going through something difficult, I feel like sharing a little bit about my life experiences might help you.

I diagree with those that say "it's easier to trust God when things are easy". Actually, I think the saying should be, "It's easier to FORGET God when things are easy. When things in my life are on an upward swing, and things seem, for the most part, to be going my way, I forget to do my quiet times. I don't feel guilty about missing church, and I certainly don't pray half as much as I usually do.

I think when there are, for a lack of a better term "storms", I think that's the time we need is to lean in and hold on to God for dear life. I think when we are having major life struggles, and we don't see a bright light at the end of the tunnel, that's the time to hold steadfast and be patient. 

First and foremost, choose a life verse. I know this sounds like a trivial first step, but trust me, when the storm is raging, you'll need an anchor to cling to. Secondly, find someone, or a couple of people that you can be one hundred and fifty percent honest with. Find that person that, no matter what, you can say anything to. You're going to need an outlet. And finally, sweet reader, read your bible every day. I know this is something we should do anyway. But I also know, from experience, that life happens and it doesn't get done. Make a point to do it every day. The storms stay a lot calmer when The Enemy knows that you're focused.

Until next time, dear reader.

Growth

Today is a day of growth and reflection. I have an entire blog post dedicated to the fact that I don't use my words. I bottle up feelings and opinions, instead of talking things through with people, simply because it's easier than facing an uncomfortable situation.

Today, I took a step towards fixing this. It doesn't really matter who I talked to or what it was about, honestly. It was about me, realizing things needed to be said, an instead of pushing them down and ignoring them, I responded. I talked. I listened. And things are better now.

It seems like something very stupid to blog about, but this is important in my life, even if its small.

Today was an interesting day.

Marriage Equality

So today, while scrolling through my Facebook and Instagram newsfeeds, I was faced with a very prominent picture. Today has prompted a very big discussion about the allowance of two people of the same gender being able to marry. This is a hot topic anyway, but today, there is a picture of a yellow "equal" sign all over social media sites.

Let's talk about this.

I was a little bit apprehensive to post about this particular topic, because my views are often considered... intolerant. I am not one to judge anyone. I have more than my fair share of mistakes, and I would never infringe on someone else's choices. This being said, I think same-sex marriage should not be legalized. I believe wholeheartedly that God commanded us to love Him and love others, but I also believe He created man to love woman and visa versa. I have quite a few people in my life who have "come out of the closet" as it were, and I love them just as much as anyone else in my life.

But that's my stance.

I believe marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman.

I was taught that homosexuality is a sin.

I also know that I sin in my own ways.

And I was also taught to love the sinner, hate the sin.

That's what I think.

Have a good day.

Preschool

Someone the other day called what I do for a living as "glorified babysitting".

Okay.

During an average work week for a preschool teacher, we encounter more than you'll ever believe. I've been thrown up on, bitten, licked and punched. I've wiped noses, changed diapers and performed countless moments of first aid. I GET to think up on-the-spot craft ideas and games. I GET to push kids on the swings, play basketball an play hangman for what feels like hours. I GET to recognize that every single moment is the classroom is teachable. And I GET to remember that to some of the kids in these classrooms, I am the only one planting seeds of faith, because their parents may not be.

So the next time, dear reader, you think of a preschool teacher, think about this...

That kid may be a lawyer.
That kid may be an artist.
That girl may be a mommy.
That boy may be a daddy.
That kid may be President.
That kid may be a preacher.

What we do matters. What we do is an investment. What we do is Christ-driven. And what we do will impact this country 20 years from now.

"Glorified babysitting".

Ha.

I can only imagine.

Last night was phenomenal.

We had our usual Tuesday night service for the college group at my church, and it was beyond amazing. We started a new sermon-series called "F.I.S.H.", where we will learn more about the importance, and more how-to's on evangelizing to our non-believing friends and family. At the end of the sermon, taught by Tony Angelo, we were challenged to write down names.

With a little white piece of paper and a pen, we were going to make a promise and a pledge to start praying for God to move in the lives of our loved ones who haven't accepted Jesus in their lives. By writing these names, we made a commitment, and it was to be taken seriously.

I am glad to say that over the course of last evening, 378 names were written down.

Process that.

378 people are being prayed for every single day. Their salvation. Their lives. Their well-being is being prayed for. It gets better... There is going to be a master list made of ALL 378 first names, and everyone in the college group will recieve a copy of the list.

Process that!

There are a couple hundred people in our college group. Those couple hundred people will DAILY be praying for those 378 people.The lives and salvations of those people are going to change.

This is a movement.

This is going to transform some lives.

The Holy Spirit power is stirring things up, and it's gonna get fun!

I don't like that

At the preschool I work at, we teach the kids to "use their words". We teach them that if someone is bothering you in a way that you don't like, that its okay to say "I don't like that".

This cracks me up, and makes me proud at the same time. Sometimes I'll overhear one of the kids using our little catch phrase, and it always makes me smile. On the one hand, sometimes they'll say "I don't like that" if someone disagrees on a rule for a game or doesn't want to be sidekick-Robin to their Batman. Then there are the proud moments, when someone is truly bothering them, that they say those words loud and proud.

Why do I enjoy these moments? Well, I'll tell you. When I was a kid, I was taught some pretty dang lousy communication skills. I, even now, hate to talk things out. I hate talking about feelings. I hate sorting through overly serious subjects, and I take any kind of criticism to heart more than the average person, I feel like.

All of this being said, I am proud of the kids at my work when they use their "good words", because I feel like I'm passing on a good skill to future generations, even if it's not one I possess most of the time myself.