One of those days...

I'm having one of those days today where I REALLY miss my dad. It's the craziest thing, because I KNOW I should be happy for him. He's in Heaven with Jesus. There's nothing better.

BUT

I am selfish, and I miss him. I miss him every minute of every day, and there are some days, like today, where I miss him so much that it hurts.

So now I'm sitting here, alone, because all of my house mates are upstairs sleeping or whatever, and watching glee and being sad. Pathetic and selfish.

The problem is that I don't want to talk about it. Even if one of my house mates was down here, I wouldn't want to talk about it. That's just not who I am. I bottle up emotions. I don't talk through them. Yes. It's unhealthy, but it's my way for now.

I just need like... one encouraging text lol. Idk. Lame.

Happy Wednesday.

Noah, Kyle and Austin

So I was at work today, and I had a VERY interesting conversation with three of the boys in my class today. We were walking back from the gymnasium, and Noah was talking about how he wanted to live to be 100. Then I told them that in the bible, people lived to be MORE than 100, and that put them in a state of shock. Lol. But then Austin... my little thinker gets this look on his face... like he's thinking about something REALLY important. Then he asks me...

"When was God born?"

This was a ROUGH question for me to answer. I told Austin (and the two other boys) that God has always been around. He wasn't ever born... he's just always been there.

Now let me interject here that these boys are all about 8 years old, so I knew going into this that they probably wouldn't understand, BUT I tried my best to explain that God existed... He just lived, and THEN he decided to create the universe, and the world we live in now. Now, that's pretty deep for 8 year olds, but I tried my best. Lol.

It was an AMAZING opportunity to plant a seed in these 3 boys, and it was a very exciting conversation :) I'm so proud of my little Austin for asking such a good question which sparked a cool conversation :)

So much to say...

I've been wanting to write a blog since we got back from camp, but I keep running into the same problem... so much to say, but I don't know where to start. Lol.

So here it goes...

Camp was good this year. It was a LOT different than last year, but overall it was a nice week :) The worship was excellent, and Matt Chandler was a sensational speaker. :) But the best part of camp was the people we took :) The group this year was just as amazingly awesome as it was last year :)

I can't lie. It was nice coming home though. The drive went by a LOT faster, especially without a "parent in the hospital" phone call. (And yes, I definitely called my mom and told her that wasn't allowed lol). Then I got to come home to my new house where I live with some of my favorite people! :)

This new living arrangement is quite the experience. It's making me grow up a lot faster, and I think it's going to be a great experience for all four of us. I can't lie though, there are down sides. The one that bothers me the most is everyone's opinions of our house. It's annoying. Literally 4 people have told me how awesome it would be if we put cameras up in our house, so that everyone can see the drama. I'm tired of everyone telling me how they don't think our house is going to work out; that it's impossible for 4 girls to live together without killing each other. I don't know... I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.

Other than that, life is okay.

I've had a LOT of things on my mind lately.

At camp, I had some free time before Chapel, and I had a really good conversation with Kevin about testimonies. I didn't understand the point of telling someone your life story. I didn't understand why someone would care to know all the crazy details of my life. It's not something I've heard about at my two previous churches. SO. I was chatting with Kev about this, and he challenged me to work on my testimony. So, that's what I've been doing. It's been an interesting experience. It's hard re-living parts of my life.. I don't think I could EVER get up in front of everyone and tell my story. Even the people who've known me the longest (Darrin, the Crockers, etc.), don't even REALLY know my story. Hopefully I think I'll be really happy when it's finished. (As long as I don't have to tell anyone lol) :)

For the past month or so, something's been really bothering me, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it, but since this is my blog, I think I'll just keep it on here for now. Not too many people read it anyway. Lol. This may sound stupid, but I HATE when people call me mom. Like, it drives me crazy. I like to do things for people. I like to cook for them, or whatever, and when people say "thanks mom" or whatever, it bugs me. I feel like it's an insult or a put-down, but there's no way to say "please stop that" without sounding like a jerk. Ya know? Anyways. It's not something that's going to change... too many people do it... but I wish they wouldn't :/

I have a lot more to talk about, but I'm tired of typing. Lol.

Until next time.