Unforgivenss.

I am probably the worst example of forgiveness.

I am a grudge-holder in every sense of the word. I was self-analyzing today in between my busy Saturday events, and realized that there are a lot of "hurts" that I hold on to. 

It's not a big secret. I haven't had the easiest life, and a large part of that is to a seemingly endless stream of poor choices on my part. I was raised to act a certain way, and I, of course, thought I knew better. So, needless to say, I have some memories that aren't my favorite.

Some of these memories include unforgivenss. 

I harbor a lot of resentment toward people, but the reasons are unhealthy. 

I have expectations of people. Some are high expectations, some are not so high, and if people don't live up to those expectations, I start to resent them. I know I shouldn't, and that's something I'm praying through and working on. But it's something that I've recently learned about myself.

I am genuinely afraid that if I don't get a handle on this I won't have anyone left in my life, worth having.

Just some musings on this Saturday night.