Friday, June 6, 2014

The reason I hate weddings...

Today was not my favorite day.

Today was a hectic day at work. One of the more hectic days we have had in a long while.

Today was also the wedding of two people I truly care about. The Hendrix wedding, as it has been hashtagged, has been the talk of Shadow Hills for weeks, and today was the day. I couldn't go to the ceremony because of work, but I was so excited for the reception. A relaxing night with friends and family is just what I've been needing.

So I get in my car, and get all set to drive over, and for whatever reason, I freeze. I start thinking about the night that lay ahead, and I look out across the "big grass" and see my fabulous friends taking their wedding pictures. They looked just amazing.

But as I sat there in my car, I got to thinking about the same things that always cross my mind before a wedding, and that is the DREADED father/daughter dance. I've seen one of these dances since my dad died, and it was almost worse than the moment he died.

So I decided that I would have to skip the reception... I was driving home, and rationalizing skipping this event. And then I turned around. I drove over to the reception site (our friend's house), and wandered in.

I didn't stay long. I couldn't. But I saw Kelsey in her amazing dress and Nick and his matching groomsmen. It was a beautiful night full of beautiful people. Like I said, I couldn't stay. Most weddings tend to have the dreaded dance, and I didn't want to chance it tonight.

Will this feeling, this fear ever subside? I stopped posting on my blog for a while (Hopefully you've noticed, sweet reader) because someone told me that I post about my dad too much and I became self conscious. But tonight, he's all I can think about. That noticeably awkward moment that will be missing from my wedding sometime in the future.

The thought of not being able to have that moment makes me cry the instant I think about it.

Someday I hope that changes.


1 comment:

  1. Write about your dad. He obviously meant a lot to you. This is YOUR blog, write what you need to.

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